THE ART OF
LISTENTING
Part 1
Did you
know that some colleges teach a class on listening? You might be thinking, “well, that is kind of silly, who does not know how to
listen.” I can promise you that many would benefit from such a class because
the art of listening has become a dead art for many. The art of listening is a
learned skill, it does not just happen. Please understand that hearing and
listening are two different things. Unless we something wrong with our hearing,
we can all hear, but listening requires processing what we hear. It is
certainly possible to hear without listening. In fact, we have all done this.
Someone is talking and our minds start thinking about something else. We hear
the person talking, but we have no idea what he is talking about because we
stopped listening.
We do
the same thing sometimes when we are reading. We can start reading a book and
start thinking about something else and even though our eyes are scanning the
words and we read over a page worth of information, we have no idea what we
just read. This tells us that we can hear and even see with our eyes, yet not
comprehend because we phased out and were not taking in what we see or hear and
processing it because we were not paying attention.
I think
this is a topic that is important to us all, so I will be talking about the art
of listening and its importance this morning and this evening. Not only will be
pointing out the importance of listening to the Word of God, but also how the
art of listening will benefit us in every aspect of our lives.
When
Jesus was on this earth, He taught many times about how important it is to
listen. He concluded several of His teachings by saying:
Matthew 11:15 "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!
When Jesus was speaking to the 7 churches of Asia, He
addressed each of them with a statement similar to this one found in:
Revelation 2:7 "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.
Jesus also said the following:
Mark 4:23 "If
anyone has ears to hear, let him hear."
24 Then He said to them, "Take heed
what you hear. With the same measure you use, it will be measured to you; and
to you who hear, more will be given. 25
"For whoever has, to him more will be given; but whoever does not have,
even what he has will be taken away from him."
What the
verses teach us is that when it comes to God’s Word, we better pay attention and
listening intently to what it says. We cannot just read the words in our Bibles
and not process them in our minds. Not only does Jesus want to be good
listeners, He also wants to to take heed to what we
listen to because knows what we take into our minds can corrupt us if we are
listening to the wrong kind of things. As Paul said:
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good
habits."
So,
there is a balance. Our goal is to be good listeners especially when it comes
to God’s Word, but we must also be careful at what we listen to so that it does
not influence in a negative way that will cause to move away from God.
You
would be surprised at how much listening is required in our lives every single
day. Yet, the art of listening is hardly ever taught in our schools. To help
put things in perspective, I want you to consider the following numbers in
regards to everyday communication:
·
Most
of us receive at least 12 years of instruction on how to write well, yet this
skill only makes up about 9% of a person’s daily
communication.
·
We
receive about 8 years of formal instruction on how to read, yet it only
accounts for 16% of our daily communication.
·
When
it comes to speaking, most receive 1 or 2 years of training. Speaking makes up
about 30% of our communication.
·
If
we are lucky we might receive a half-year of formal training in listening, yet
it makes up 45% of our daily communication.
All of
these skills play a part in our daily communication, but based on these
numbers, we can see that listening makes up the biggest percentage. Since so
little time is spent on learning how to listen it should not surprise us why so
many are poor communicators and why so many get confused about what people are
saying because they do not listen. The good news is, with a little bit of
effort, we can all become better listeners.
First,
let’s consider some different levels of listening that will help us understand
where we are when comes to listening in general.
The
first level is simply hearing the words.
Everyone
hearing person has the ability to do this, but we are fooling ourselves if we
think that simply hearing the words someone says is the same as listening to
what someone says. If this is the level you are at, you will be the type of
person that misunderstands many things that people say. You will tend to jump
to conclusions and miss important parts of what is being said. Though you may
be aware that you are not listening that close, you will tend to blame the
speaker for not understanding everything that was said not matter how good he
explained the topic.
We might
get away with this kind of listening sometimes, but it will catch up to you
especially when it comes to your loved ones. While a preacher or a teacher
might not ever know your listening level, a loved one will because they
interact with you daily. They will figure out that you are not making any
effort to listen and it will make them feel that you do not care and are not
interested in what they say. This listening level can be devastating to
marriages and other relationship you may have.
The
second level is listening in spurts.
Even
when we know we should be listening, we have a tendency to turn in spurts, but
we fail to listen closely, so we only get part of the story. Though we are
getting more information than level 1, we will still have some of the same
problems as I discussed in that level.
One
thing that can contribute to listening level is known as conversational
narcissism. Conversational narcissists always try and turn every conversation
into being about them because they want the attention. We all know people like
this and how annoying it can be. When they listen to someone speaking, they are
not listening per se to understand what you are saying because they are
listening to what they can say that will be similar to what you are saying, but
will then talk about themselves. Sometimes it is hard for us to recognize the
fact that we all do this sometimes, but is shows that one is self-centered and
mainly cares that the focus of any conversation is about them. If this
describes you, realize that you can change your ways and I will be talking
later about how you can do this, but you will have to come back tonight to hear
how.
The
third level is empathetic listening.
This
level should be our goal in all aspects of our lives. When you can achieve this
level of listening, you are able to set aside internal and external
distractions so as to listen without judgment or interruption. We are
emotionally and mentally invested in the speaker and the speaker will be able
to tell that you are paying close attention and are interested in what he is
saying. When you will listen carefully it is going to difficult for you to misunderstand
what the speaker is saying and it give you the ability to know what to say or
ask that will enhance the conversation.
When it
comes to someone who is speaking publicly like I am this morning, there are
certain basic rules of communication that I must follow to present my lesson in
a way that is easily understood, but at the same time it is your responsibility
to listen carefully so that you can get the most out of what I am saying. So
there is just as much responsibility for the hearer to listen as for the
speaker to speak in a coherent manner.
These 3
listening levels apply to us all and we fall into one of these levels.
Hopefully, we fall into level more often than not. Along these same lines, I also want to
point out 3 different kinds of listeners found within the Bible when it comes
to listening to God’s Word.
First we
have the dull of hearing. The writer of Hebrews described such people:
Hebrews 5:8 though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which
He suffered. 9 And having been perfected, He
became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him, 10 called by God as High Priest
"according to the order of Melchizedek," 11 of whom we have much to
say, and hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. 12 For though by this time you
ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first
principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid
food. 13 For everyone who
partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness,
for he is a babe. 14 But
solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by
reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
When a
person will not actively listen to the truth found in God’s Word, he is going
to find himself woefully ignorant and unprepared for the judgment day. When a
person refuses to hear and learn, then they will get to the point where they
need to be taught the basics all over again, but even that will be impossible
because you cannot teach a person anything if he is dull of hearing. Jesus
dealt with people like this during His day:
Matthew 13:13 "Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not
see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. 14 "And in them the prophecy
of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: 'Hearing you will hear and shall not
understand, And seeing you will see and not perceive; 15 For the hearts of this
people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And
their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes and
hear with their ears, Lest they should understand with their hearts
and turn, So that I should heal them.'
There
was nothing wrong with the message being taught. If they listened and asked
questions they could understand, but they were blinded by the dull ears and
their blind eyes. Many today have the same dull hearing and blindness when it
comes to hearing and seeing what God’s Word says because they do not want to see or hear what it says if it
means they have to change their ways. For those who are do not close their ears
or their eyes to the truth will be blessed as Jesus said:
Matthew 13:16"But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they
hear; 17 "for assuredly,
I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what
you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear
it.
Second we have those with
itching ears.
Paul describes this kind of
listener in:
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but
according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they
will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and
they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to
fables.
If you will remember earlier in the lesson, Jesus warned
us about what we listen to. Well, this is the reason He warned us. There were
people in the first century who chose to go beyond dull hearing because they
added to it by being active listeners to the false way. It is easy to listen to
those things that we want to hear or make us feel good, but not so easy when it
comes to what we need to hear. This was not a problem isolated to the first
century because the people during the days of Isaiah had the same problem.
Isaiah 30:8 Now go, write it before them on a tablet, And note it on a scroll, That it
may be for time to come, Forever and ever:
9 That this is a rebellious people, Lying children,
Children who will not hear the law of the LORD; 10 Who say to the seers,
"Do not see," And to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us right
things; Speak to us smooth things, prophesy deceits. 11 Get out of the way, Turn aside
from the path, Cause the Holy One of Israel To cease
from before us."
In fact, you can see this mentality throughout the Bible
and this same mentality plagues us today because there are many who willing to
close their ears to the truth, yet embrace the message of false teachers
because it tickles their ears. This is a dangerous kind of listener to be
because you feel good about your condition and even fool yourself into thinking
you are saved when you are not.
Third we have those who listen with a noble and good
heart. This kind of person is described by Jesus as being the fourth kind of
soil as he explains the meaning of His parable of the soils:
Luke 8:11 " Now
the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 "Those by the wayside are
the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their
hearts, lest they should believe and be saved.
13 "But the ones on the rock are those who, when
they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a
while and in time of temptation fall away.
14 "Now the ones that fell among thorns are those
who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and
pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. 15 "But the ones that fell
on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good
heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.
This is
the kind of listener that all Christians should be when it comes to allowing
God’s Word to penetrate our hearts. It is the only way we can be truly be
transformed into a child of God and have the qualities that God wants us to
have. A great example of this kind of listener comes from:
Acts 17:10 Then the
brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea. When they
arrived, they went into the synagogue of the Jews. 11 These were more fair-minded
than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness,
and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were
so. 12 Therefore many of them
believed, and also not a few of the Greeks, prominent
women as well as men.
Our goal
as Christians is to be one who listens carefully with a noble and good heart.
We should hang on every Word found in our Bibles and carefully weigh what it
says to whatever is being spoken so we can confirm what is being said is the
truth or a lie. Only those who are like the fourth soil be able to bear fruit
that is pleasing to God, so I urge you if you are not a good listener to God’s
Word, I hope you will start listening carefully to it because it contains the
words of life. If you do not listen and obey what the Word of God says then you
will be lost as Jesus points out in:
Matthew 7:21 " Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,'
shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in
heaven.
When it
comes to God’s Word you have a choice of what kind of listener you will be. If
you a dull of hearing or have itching ears to hear something other than the
truth than you be lost. If you you are a good hearer
and a doer of what you hear from God’s Word then you will be saved. Jesus
illustrates this the principle in:
Matthew 7:24 " Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I
will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 "and the rain descended,
the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not
fall, for it was founded on the rock. 26
"But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will
be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 "and the rain descended,
the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And
great was its fall."
I want
to close this lesson by looking at some of the benefits of becoming a good
listener. When we listen to others it shows respect. As the golden rule says, One should treat others as one would like others to treat
oneself. If you make the effort to listen to someone closely without
interrupting or looking bored, then most likely the other person will do the
same. We certainly do not like it when people do not listen to what we have to
say especially if it really important to us, so keep that in mind when talking
with others.
When
people come to you and want to unload their problems on you it does not mean
that they want your advice. Sometimes they just want someone one to listen to
them. Of course, if they ask you for advice give it to them, but sometimes the
best thing you can do for that person is to just listen. Fighting the urge to
give your opinion or your advice can strengthen your bond with that
person.
If you
practice listing everyday it is an effective way to continue to learn because
you will pick up on more details and opportunities you may have missed before
learning to listen carefully.
Learning
to listen carefully will make a valuable employee. Employers want good
listeners because it makes the employees open to new ideas, shows they care,
and good listeners make the best customer service agents. Good listening has
also been shown to reduce stress and allow for better management of difficult
people. What more could a thriving business want from an employee?
This is especially true when a promotion is in consideration. When the 15
richest Americans were asked what advice they would give to an average American
aspiring to wealth, one of the responses was to become a good listener.
When it
comes to listening to God’s Word the benefits are endless and eternal. Much
could be said about this but I will let Paul sum it up with his message to
Timothy:
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable
for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in
righteousness, 17 that the
man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
I hope you will join us back tonight as we begin to
examine how to become good listeners.
THE ART OF
LISTENTING
Part 2
This
morning we began talking about the importance of listening. We talked about the
difference between hearing and listening. We looked at three levels of
listening and three kinds of listeners from the Bible. We looked at some of the
benefits of learning the art of listening. Tonight, I will be focusing on how
to become a better listener. If you will put into practice some of the things I
will be pointing out tonight, you will become a better listener.
I want
to start out with a few verses that talk about listening:
James 1:19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to
hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
Proverbs 18:13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and
shame to him.
Proverbs
10:19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who
restrains his lips is wise.
Many more
versus could be used that teach the same idea, but these are enough to show
that listening carefully and speaking less just to hear your head rattle will
always serve you well by keeping anger and other sins at bay.
The art
of listening take effort and there are many things that can get in our way, but
there are things we can do overcome the obstacles before us and establish new
listening habits. Sharpening our listening skills is pretty easy to do once
what good listening is and is not. We must never forget that listening is not a
passive process, so all of the techniques I am about to share with you are
active including the ones that are not visible to the speaker.
1.
Listen with an open mind
Be ready
to hear and consider all sides of an issue. This does not mean we have to
agree with what is being said, but we must avoid going into what I call defense
mode, which means you stop listening to the rest of the story and you begin
thinking about how you are going to respond to that one point you disagree
with. When we don’t make ourselves listen to the whole story, we tend to jump
to conclusions and we miss out on something important. I have heard some
preachers start out preaching something false and they do it to get the
attention of their hearers, then they finally let the people in on what they
are doing by saying something like, “this is what Satan would want me to teach,
but now let us look at what the Bible teaches on this.”
How many
times have you started reading a book and the first chapter was
boring so you decided not to read the rest? Then later, you find a friend who
read the same book and talked about how great it was once you got past the
first chapter? So, the point of the matter is listen
to the whole story so that you have the complete picture. You may find yourself
learning something from a new perspective or if you disagree, you will have
more information to go on in order to show what the person is saying is not
right. In other words be the like the Bereans in Acts
17.
2.
Listen to the entire message without judging or refuting
Building
upon point 1, we must learn to suppress the urge to let biases and prejudices
prevent us from listening fully. We can only do one thing effectively at
a time: listen, judge, or respond This is great order
to follow. You have to begin with listening to the entire message, then you can weigh your thoughts against what has been said,
and finally respond. When you are the listener, you cannot simultaneously
be the judge because our minds do not work well that way. However, when we make
the effort to suppress our desire to make premature judgments, we become better
listeners.
A great
way to prepare for this in advance is to be aware of what your biases are and
then try to reason out why you feel this way. What “buzz words” or topics
generate a strong emotional reaction either positive or negative in you?
If you judge and then speak too soon, you’ve opened the possibility of having
missed a critical part of the message and thus embarrassing yourself by jumping
to conclusions.
An
extreme example of what not to do would be how the Jews already had their minds
made up about Stephen in Acts 7. He tried to teach them the truth, but they
would not listen and they killed him.
3.
Determine the concepts and central ideas of the message.
The best
gauge to know whether you are listening or just hearing is whether or not you
are actively looking for the central idea(s) of what is being said. If the
message is well-constructed then our role as a listener will be easier, but we
will not always have that luxury. A great technique, regardless of the
speaker’s ability to construct a message, is to listen in such a way that you
can summarize what you believe are the central idea(s). If the situation
allows it, share your summary with the speaker and confirm your understanding.
Doing this builds your confidence as a listener, plus it proves to the speaker
that you were listening. This technique can be very helpful when resolving
problems between the parent and child and husband and wife. Sometimes we may
think we understand what our family member is saying, but we may be wrong.
Instead of assuming, which will almost always get you into trouble, restate to
your family member what you think they are saying and then you will know for
sure if you understood correctly.
4. Learn
to adapt to the speaker’s appearance, personality, and delivery.
The Lord
says it best in:
1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his
appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the
Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward
appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
In context, Samuel was looking for the biggest and
strongest man as being the next king because we have a tendency to look at the
outer appearance of a person. Imagine being approached by a man like John the
Baptist:
Matthew 3:4 And John himself was clothed in camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist; and his
food was locusts and wild honey.
You
might think, “Who is this crazy looking guy?” Despite his looks, he was the
forerunner for Christ, and his message was important. Sometimes race or certain
accents can cause us to view people differently, but a Christians, we must
learn to overcome stereotypes and not allow them to interfere with our
listening skills. Abraham Lincoln was not a handsome man, but as our sixteenth
president of the United States, his words changed the course of history.
Beyond
appearance, we must understand that not everyone is like us and they have different
personalities, styles, and levels of education. While it can be challenging to
follow a different style of speech, you need to focus on what they are trying
to tell you and not allow their style or their personality to distract from the
meat of the message whether it be a general conversation or listening to
someone teach or preach. I am thankful that we are not all cut from the same
cookie mold because that makes life more interesting.
5. We
must learn to overcome distractions.
For
some, it does not take very much to break someone’s concentration, but we all
started out as good listeners. Think about how much a baby learns within the
first few years of his or her life. Yet babies don’t attend classes, read
textbooks, or go to seminars. They simply listen, and they do it so well
that eventually they start behaving like little adults. Over time,
however, a series of bad habits begins to pop up.
A man by
the name of Dr.
Paine shared the following statistics in his class:
When a teacher suddenly stopped
in the middle of a lesson and asked students to explain the content of the
lesson thus far, 90% of first grade students could do so successfully.
That number drops to 80% in second graders, then
plummets to 44% in middle school students, and a gut-wrenching 28% in high
school. In other words, despite how well we start, our bad habits develop
rather quickly.
If we
ever hope to become great listeners we must recognize those things that easily
distract us and work hard to actively ignore them. This takes practice, but it
can be done. Here is a general list of some of things that might distract us:
·
External
noises (beeping, humming, baby noises, etc.)
·
Psychological
activity (worry, self-consciousness, preoccupation, etc.)
·
Physical
conditions (temperature, odors, lighting, visual distractions, etc.)
·
Physiological
conditions (pain, hunger, fatigue, etc.)
·
Semantic
distractions (dialects, accents, unfamiliar vocabulary, etc.)
·
Technological
distractions (the urge to check your phone, surf the net, etc.)
Only you
can make a list of those things you find distracting. Whatever they are, you
need to be aware of them, and work on overcoming them every day because it will
not be a battle you win overnight. If you are in a situation where the distraction become too great, you might need to tell the
person you talking to that you cannot focus and need to move to a new location
or have the conversion somewhere else. I realize you cannot do this in a Bible
class or while listening to a sermon, but you can move to another seat if a
person is distracting you. I also want you to understand that you are not alone
because everyone struggles with distractions and sometimes the distractions
win. Peter struggled with staying focused on Jesus when he tried to walk on the
water:
Matthew 14:28 And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You,
command me to come to You on the water."
29 So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down
out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw that the wind was
boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying,
"Lord, save me!" 31
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to
him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 32 And when they got into the
boat, the wind ceased.
Of
course, this teaches more than just overcoming distractions when it comes to
listening, but the principle is the same. If you take your attention off what
you are supposed to be doing, which in our case is listening, then we can start
to sink a lose our concentration. So, we must continue to practice being
focused on the person speaking this will help us a long way.
6. Attempt to find something that interests
you in what the person is saying or something that you might be able to share
with someone else.
If we
have a negative attitude about someone we are talking to or we do not like the
topic a person is teaching or preaching on, then it is going to be hard for us
to get anything out of what the person says, but when we approach each speaker
with the attitude that I am going to look for something that I can learn, then
we will be able to listen with a positive attitude instead of a negative one.
When we can focus on the positive instead of the negative it will naturally
make us better listeners.
7. Listening
does not mean that you agree.
Sometimes
we think if we continue to listen to someone with whom we disagree that we are
given the impression that we agree with them, but this simply is not true. When
we allow someone to say what they are thinking, we are simply showing them
respect. Dr Paine makes the following two statements:
“Listening demands neither surrender nor
agreement; instead, listening demands an open mind” and “Listening actually
provides a powerful way to bring about change because listening is thinking,
because listening is action.”
Jesus
did this several times. For example:
John 8:3 Then the
scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they
had set her in the midst,
4 they said to Him, "Teacher, this woman was
caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 "Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such
should be stoned. But what do You
say?" 6 This they said,
testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But
Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He
did not hear. 7 So when they
continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, "He who is
without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." 8 And again He stooped down and
wrote on the ground. 9 Then
those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out
one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was
left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself
up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, "Woman, where are those
accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?" 11 She said, "No one,
Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin
no more."
Jesus
knew what the men were up to because He could read the hearts’ of men. Notice,
He listened to their plea without interrupting or agreeing. He even was silent
for awhile and drew in the sand. Then He answered
them and they all walked away because they realized once again that they were
not going to be able to catch Jesus at making a mistake.
Like
Jesus, we can listen to what people say, whether we agree with it or not, but
when we do, it will give us more information and allow us to be able respond
and more appropriate manner. The main point is that listening well does not
mean that you agree.
8. Stop
trying to jump in and talk
One of
the challenges of having conversations especially within a small group is knowing when it is a good time to add your input. This
can be really hard when one person is conversation hog and appears to never breath. However, if we want to improve our listening skills,
we must pay close attention to what is being said, so we can know when the best
time to speak is. What we want to be careful about is being the kind of person
who thinks he has to make a comment on everything being said because we do not.
If we focus our attention on simply waiting for slightest pause to speak then
we are probably not paying attention to what is being said. When we interrupt
people in the middle of their sentence or thought, then we are being rude and
disrespectful whether that was our intention or not.
Of
course, there are times when interrupting someone can be necessary, but
overall, interrupting should not be done and should listen to what is being
said and then give your opinion when it is your turn to talk.
9. Pay
attention to both verbal and non-verbal messages
Paying
attention to body language is just as important as paying attention to the
words. If you need proof of the importance of body language, just think
about how much more difficult it is to detect something like sarcasm during a
phone conversation or in a text message without the benefit of seeing the
person’s face and body. Without the ability to see another person’s facial
expression, hand gestures, and other movements, we lose an important part of
being able to understand the intent of what the person is saying. This tells us
that our eyes become an important part of being a good listener as well.
10. Ask
questions to clarify the message
This is
a positive way to show someone that you are listening. No matter how hard
someone tries to make their message completely clear, whether in general
conversation or teaching or preaching, sometimes the message does not come
across clearly to every person. If we want to improve
our listening skills and get the most of out what is being said, then by all
means ask questions. Asking questions will help you have a greater
understanding of what the speaker is saying.
Much of
what I have said so far will help you out a great deal in striving to be a
better listener. It will help you in all aspects of your life. I would like to
close by giving you some good ways to specifically listen better at sermons and
Bible class material.
·
I
know it is not always possible, but try and be rested up before you go to
worship or Bible class because if you are tired it is going to be difficult for
you pay attention and to stay awake.
·
Try
to prepare yourself before you set foot in the door to be a good listener and
have your mind on God. Some listen to gospel music, others read their Bibles,
and some pray. Whatever helps you get your mind in the right place do it.
·
Remind
yourself of how important it is to hear God’s Word proclaimed. There is always
something new for us to learn or be reminded of.
·
When
it comes to Bible class, come prepared to participate. If you have some good
insight on the topic being spoken about share it so that all can benefit from
it.
·
Don’t
be afraid to ask questions in Bible class.
·
When
it comes to listening to the sermon being presented have a positive attitude
that you are going to hear something that will help you or someone else. Don’t
focus on the mispronounced words or the small goof ups such as saying Matthew
when Mark was the right name. Instead, focus on the overall message and what
you can learn from it.
·
Follow
along with the Scriptures by reading them on the screen or if they are not on
the screen open your Bibles to the verses being used because this will help you
stay focused.
·
If
taking notes helps you stay focused by all means, take notes.
I don’t
think you will ever hear anyone complain about you being too good of a
listener. I hope these two lessons today will encourage you to be better
listeners and that you will use some of the techniques I pointed that will make
you a better listener. As I said, being a better listener will benefit you in
all areas of your life including your spiritual life. I want to close with the
words of Isaiah:
Isaiah 55:2 Why do you
spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does
not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what
is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance. 3 Incline your ear, and come to
Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an
everlasting covenant with you -- The sure mercies of David.
So, listen well especially when it comes to the Word of
the Lord.
This lesson was adapted from two articles on listening http://artofmanliness.com/2012/05/02/how-to-listen-effectively/
http://artofmanliness.com/2012/05/08/listen-up-part-ii-15-techniques-to-improve-our-listening/
Written by Tony Valdes